Stop The Blame Culture. Middle Children Are Fine.

Saturday, 21 January 2017

Stop The Blame Culture. Middle Children Are Fine.

Today's rant comes from my friend sharing a meme on Facebook. It read:

"Today is middle child's day.... so we're just gunna ignore it!"

three children

Now I know that it's just a joke and that I am probably just wearing my grumpy pants today, but for God's sake, when are we going to stop this whole blame culture that we are in? There is always an excuse.

A person is no longer allowed to be selfish it becomes " Oh well it's because they are an only child, they have never known how to share." Um no! That is an excuse.

A person can't have a lack of direction in life as it becomes " Oh it's because they are a middle child.

Just stop with the excuses.

I myself come from a family of 4. Poor old me was the eldest. I know, it was so hard. I was an experiment that my parents conducted so that my sister would turn out fine. It is just all a load of rubbish. We all stumble through parenthood doing the best that we can.

I have three boys. When I had little man, people actually asked me if I would have a fourth so that middle man wouldn't suffer middle child syndrome. "Um no, I would prefer to have my sanity than a second middle child" I would reply puzzled.

Do I treat middle man differently to the other two?

My first instinct was to say no. But then I thought about it and the answer is yes. Why? Because I treat them all differently. No child (or person) is the same. You do treat them differently. As a parent you do what is best for each child, irrelevant of their placing in the family.

If anything, middle man has the best of both worlds. He has an older brother to look up to and a younger one to boss around. Does middle man get ignored? No more than the other two! Am I worried about him growing up in the shadow of big man? No. Big man likes karate and running. Middle man likes acting. They are totally different. Both intelligent, but in different ways.

Middle man is his own person and that is what I love best about him. He wont be pressured into anything. He isn't fussed that he can't ride his bike and little man can. He will do it when he is ready. It isn't because we have ignored him and not helped him learn. It is that at the moment he is far more interested in building lego than going outside on his bike. It will change. But when he is ready.

People can blame the actions of others and themselves on family order as much as they want. Blame is the easy way out. People are the way they are due to the choices they have made. So can we just celebrate people for being individuals and stop looking for and creating excuses.

Are you a middle child? Do you think you were treated differently from your siblings?

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