The Curse Of The Third Born Boy


Thursday 18 June 2015

The Curse Of The Third Born Boy

This is little man. He is a cheeky little devil. It is no wonder as he is our third and last child.

He may give me a hard time but he is only getting his own back. After all he is cursed with being the third boy. 

What is this curse? 

Well here is a glimpse into how little man sees the world. 

1. He looks at photographs of days gone by and exclaims things like "big man wear my coat!" or "middle man wear my top" Obviously he is a little shocked that his brothers are wearing his clothes. He has not yet worked out that he lives in hand me downs. 

2. He is resigned to the fact that he is too little for everything. When the answer to a "Can I?" question is no, he will assume that it is because he is too little. 

"Can I go to big man's football club?" 
"No you are too little."

"Can I eat this chocolate?"
"No it's 9am"
"Me too little?" 

3. He thinks that it is perfectly acceptable to befriend someone by bundling them. This generally only causes a problem with younger first born children. 

4. He has learnt to play on his baby status. Babies are cute right? Little man has grasped this fact and plays it to his advantage. Middle man pretends to be a dog. Little man bounds over saying "me baby dog!" Middle man pretends to be an alien. Little man trumps him with baby alien status.


This cute status runs into playing with older children. He looks up at an older child, pretends to be cute and before you know it "me legs not working" and they are carrying him around.

5. He is surrounded by pictures of people that look like him on the walls but who are not him.

"That me Mummy?"
"No, it's your brother."

Note to self must update some canvases. 

6. He knows that he has to go to bed first. There are only so many toilet and drink requests that can be had whilst trying to work out what amazingly exciting things his brothers are up too. His payback is to be first up at stupid o'clock and play with electronic toys.

7. Little man has never had organic vegetables puréed for him. With my first born I spent my evenings boiling up organic carrots and freezing them in ice cube trays. By the time middle man came along, carrots where banned for their staining abilities. By the time little man came along he ate food straight from the pouches!  

8. When he asks for toys from the TV it goes on a birthday list. Actually it does for all the boys now. It comes to his birthday and I really wished I had actually written down the list.

9. Someone has already done everything first. I feel sorry for little man, but unless he starts doing back flips on a tight rope, then it has probably been done before by one of his brothers. All the boys attended the same nursery but he deals with his place there in a Hitler style fashion. We go to pick him up and before anyone has stepped out of the nursery door he is screaming at his brothers that there is "No running in my school!"

10. He does less classes. Big man was enrolled in baby college, music, signing, football, swimming. You name it he did it. Not the same if you are the third child. He does do swimming lessons but that is mainly so I have less to worry about on holiday. 

And with that, I had better make sure that I am nicer to little man. After all it could be him that chooses my nursing home. With all this evidence it will be the cheapest one he can find! 

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