I thought that being a stay at home Mum would solve the guilt.
It is just different guilt instead. Guilt that the house is untidy whilst I am at home all the time. Guilt that I don't play with the children enough. Guilt that I must be a rubbish Mother because I find it hard. I have written before about how it can be lonely at home and that Facebook can be a SAHM's enemy.
Infact it was Facebook that prompted me to write this post. Friends commented on my calmness of being a mum of 3. Yes these clearly are not mums from the school run. I wish I was calm, but looking after my 3 little men is anything but. So here's a peak into my not so calm and not so perfect life.
Little man comes into my room at 7ish in tears as Daddy has left for work without giving him any Calpol. About half an hour later I find middle man running around the house naked looking for Daddy unaware that he has left. I get up and get showered and go downstairs for breakfast.
8.15: Panic! I have no idea what has happened but no one is dressed and we need to leave for school in 15 minutes. Big man doesn't see the severity of the situation and wants a second breakfast.
8.21: I have somehow got all children dressed and sit down to have a sip of my coffee. Little man bounds at me for a cuddle and spills it everywhere.
8.31: The kids still don't have their shoes or coats on despite my many pleas. Middle man is pretending to be a unicorn and big man is a ninja. Little man pops his head around the door saying "Middle man pulled off my trousers" and waves a pair of trousers at me. (Not the ones I had put him in 10 minutes ago.)
8.35: Despite 2 bowls of crunchy nut cornflakes, big man is whining that he is still hungry. He gets an orange to eat in the car and his brothers follow suit.
8.40: We have left the house to go to school. Middle man is in an old pair of school shoes as his have disappeared. He predicts that a ghost may have eaten them.
8.46: Children dropped off at school.
9.01: Return to the car to see that middle man has peeled his orange and thrown the peel on the floor.
9.10: Return home and have to convince little man that although Daddy's car is on the drive he is at work. Yes Daddy is a boy and yes he has a willy.
This is where my day gets slightly quieter. I write an e mail response to the pre school before tidying the carnage from breakfast.We have a wasted and long journey to town which only results in me swearing at bad drivers and getting annoyed that there are roadworks every way I turn. We get home to do some baking and then watch some Cbeebies. I am clearly paying too much attention to it as I am getting annoyed that they have stuck a jacket potato in a plant pot.
3.00: The madness starts again. Little man does not see the need to pick up his brothers from pre school. Like clockwork he decides that he needs to use his potty. Cue hurry up comments from me as we are going to be late.
3.15 The boys finish school. Big man always forgets something, so has to go in to retrieve his water bottle this time. Middle man bounds out like a puppy exclaiming he has homework (he doesn't he just sets himself some each week) and once again has an I ate all my dinner sticker. He has had one of these pretty much every day since he has started school yet the novelty has still not warn off.
We return home to have an early dinner as big man has football. The mere mention of football sends middle man over the edge. "I quitted football I tell ya!" He did indeed quit so we had to change big man's class. All I needed to do was drop big man off as my friend was bringing him back. She has kindly offered to do this as little man is too much of a distraction to her daughter who is meant to be doing homework whilst her brother is at the class. Middle man is distraught that he has to leave the house and suggests that he will look after the house whilst I take big man. As tempting as it is, I instead agree that he doesn't need to wear shoes and wrestle him into the car.
5.10: We return home for little man to strip off and sit naked by the fire. I tell him to put some clothes on. He put his pants on his head and grins. I find him a few minutes later with his pants on but with stones from the fireplace stuffed down them. His claims are that he is worried middle man will eat them. This isn't an unfounded worry as on New Years Day Middle Man swallowed a glass bead from his treasure chest. Cue lots of interest in middle man's bowels.
6.00: big man is back wanting to eat me out of house and home. His dinner before football was merely a snack.
7.30 I have finally got all 3 children in bed and hope that they don't wake when my husband walks through the door.
So there you go, a peak into my not so perfect life. I may need a strong coffee to get me through the day, but some nights all I want is a large glass of red.
Are you calm and relaxed? Does it get better as they get older? Please say yes. So there we are I think we can safely say that I am more of a Desperate Housewife than a Stepford one.