My first thought was - my middle man is a dog! Then I thought some more. What if I think middle man is like a dog, but he is actually like a cat. It would certainly explain some of his behaviour. I often refer to him as a pickle monster - which is a nice way of saying he's a little bit naughty. So I studied him for the morning, and below are two interpretations of his life. Is he a cat or a dog - I will let you decide.
Middle Mans Morning - Wednesday 4th April 2012 (Dog style)
6.15am I'm awake I will go downstairs and watch TV! My favourite thing!
7.00am Breakfast! My favourite thing!
8.15am Early morning bath! My favourite thing!
8.25am Tidal wave! My favourite thing!
8.30am Pretending to be a ghost! My favourite thing!
9.00am Duplo! My favourite thing!
9.30am Fireman Sam toys! My favourite thing!
9.45am Hiding in the wardrobe! My favourite thing! Until I got stuck!
10.00am Throwing stuff down the toilet! My favourite thing!
10.15am i pad! My favourite thing!
11.00am Going round my friends house! My favourite thing!
12.00am Pizza! My favourite thing!
Middle Mans Morning - Wednesday 4th April 2012 (Cat style)
If you are reading this I need your help. I have been held captive for 2 years 1 month and 23 days. My main captor is a ginger haired woman going by the name of Mummy. There are two others suffering with me. A small one, Jacob, who is very upset by his situation and spends a lot of his time crying and a bigger one called Joshua. He has been held captive for longer than me, and has started to show signs of allegiance to her, but I'm trying to "open his eyes" to her evil ways. There's also a man that visits from time to time. He is truly evil. He causes Joshua and me to run around the house screaming "Daddy!" when he visits. Before I know it he has caught me and is throwing me in the air and hanging me upside down.
I awoke early today, I tried my escape but she caught me so I pretended I wanted to watch Peppa Pig. It was clear she wasn't going to feed me unless I asked, so I communicated I was hungry by screaming the word and rubbing my stomach. I wasn't that fussed by the slop she served up so I smothered some of it into my clothes in protest. She took me upstairs and ran the bath. Ha ha ha - I got her wet with one of my impressive belly flops! I put a net over my head and thought I would scare her by being a ghost - damn her she saw through my disguise!
I pretended to play with my toys whilst thinking of another plan. I waited for her to collect her coffee and I hid in the wardrobe so she would think I had gone missing. I got stuck. It was no good, I admitted defeat and got her to come and get me out. She disappeared for a second so I started blocking the toilet for fun - got caught again. She then bundled us all into the car and took us to another house, with another Mummy and two more hostages. I overheard the Mummys talking about taking us to a playground, so started to plan my next attempt of escape........
So is Middle man a cat or a dog? Or is he the most gorgeous "pickle monster" Ive ever laid my eyes on? He keeps me on my toes thats for sure!